There are times when Silence is appropriate.
Most people think of silence as quiet time, such as while watching a movie, reading a book, or meditating. These are all appropriate times for silence, a mannerism that is suggestive of the event itself and respected by onlookers as much as those in the 'moment'. However, there are times when silence is warranted, appropriate even, but not desired. I am talking about the times when silence is the only way to get your point across or when silence is the only way to keep from escalating a situation into negativity.
I have a hard time being silent in the face of negativity or malice. Those are the times when my mind runs around in circles and I am more inclined to help someone put their foot in their mouth, pushing until they are eating up to their knee. The irony to me is that most people don't realize that they are fighting against an undeniable truth or an ideology that they are failing to disprove. Usually it's those times that topics are derailed and bunny trails become as numerous as American Highways, the people finding the importance of the bunny trails also finding themselves speeding down them as if they are in a hurry to get somewhere.
With my recent discussions with people who are totally against my conclusions of reality, which are based on experience and what science can prove, I have found it very disturbing that I have to admit that I'm dealing with foolishness.
I am against the idea that any individual be completely open minded. I believe in the power of listening and civil disagreement, but I can not say that having an open mind is always beneficial. It really depends on the situation and what having an open mind means. If by having an open mind I am to disregard all notions of confirmed truth in favor of hearing someone ramble about the voracity of lies, then I have an obligation to let them know I simply do not agree and why. I don't have to be pessimistic, degrading, or otherwise unresponsive. However, some people do not understand the value of agreeing to disagree and moving on. It is during these times that I have to maintain Silence for the Fool.
To call someone a Fool is not desirable. I don't like it and I don't think it is a good choice of words, but there comes a time when that's the only thing going through my head. It resounds in my heart for a reason, a reason that leaves me unsettled about the conversation and distraught with the inability to end the conversation so that I can focus my energy on being compassionate.
For the people who must have the last word, silence is the best form of gentle revenge. Maybe revenge is a misnomer for what is truly taking place, but I have no better way of explaining my feelings coupled with my intent. As my intent is to let the last words be left in the mouth of the other person, meaning I don't confirm agreement or disagreement even though it may be completely perceived as agreement. As the intent is to let the person find out the truth regardless of their memory to recall my words in any exactness of what was said.
These times come up a lot when dealing with certain topics. The problem isn't a lack of civility, it is a total presence of Cognitive Dissonance. Something of which I have to accept the possibility that I may be going through also. The ironic thing to me is that I go through it more when I'm presented with information that I have knowledge on, even though it may be incomplete and working against my ability to understand new information. So the essence of my silence is that I look at myself as being the Fool when I realize I'm arguing/defending information that is faulty. The rejection of a rebuttal is when I feel I am being open minded, even if not easily persuaded from my deductions.
I used to get really frustrated with having to be silent so I could practice the art of listening.
My moments of frustration are heightened when I am truly trying to have certain questions answered and I am mocked for it. After all, who likes to be told their wrong, try to accept new information patiently and openly, then be mocked for not knowing certain facts that aren't absolutely obvious?
Humility, patience, and gentleness are great allies in those times..
Despite the appropriateness for working to agreement, there are times when we have to face the stark reality that there wont be an agreement or civil disagreement. So it is best to be silent and thought of as a fool than to open our mouths and remove all doubt.
